It's all in my head
For quite awhile now I've been experiencing some debilitating fatigue and other strange feelings. I trip, loose my balance, have trouble swallowing, see flashes of light, and have painful-numb-tingle-like sensations in my extremities. Until late this summer, I boiled all of these things to simply getting older and moving through menopause.
After returning from my long trip to Ottawa, all of these weird feelings intensified. At first my doctor thought I had pinched a nerve in my back and sent me home with a muscle relaxant and an anti-inflammatory but a few days later when I started to loose the feeling in my lips and tongue and could lie flat in bed and have both arms and both legs go numb, he referred me to a neurologist.
I've since had an MRI and a follow up visit with the neurologist. They found four "spots" in my brain which the neurologist showed me on my MRI images. I expected to see a couple of gerbils on a treadmill and was surprised to see how seemingly vacuous the images of the human brain are. To my untrained eye it all looked like a bunch of empty space but apparently the radiologist (or however reads these films) and the neurologist could see something afoot up there.
The neurologist ordered a slew of blood tests - 20 vials worth - and another MRI. It'll take a couple of weeks for the blood work and I might not get in for the MRI until March. He doesn't want to venture a diagnosis until he gets more info but my GP called me in to go over the MRI results and explained that the tests the neurologist has ordered is called the "MS protocol" - sounds like a Ludlum novel title eh?
I'm not sure if I should be scared. I mean it's not every day that a doctor tells you that he found "signs of inflammation in your brain". Does that mean there's something wrong or simply that I have a swelled head? With my mom having Alzheimer's I can say that I do have a bit of anxiety around what these "spots" might mean.
All I can do right now is wait. Wait for the blood test results, wait for the date for the MRI, wait for a follow-up visit with the neurologist and try not to freak out while I wait. Meanwhile, if you ask me if the numbness and tingling are any better, I know I can look you right in the eye and tell you that it's all in my head.
After returning from my long trip to Ottawa, all of these weird feelings intensified. At first my doctor thought I had pinched a nerve in my back and sent me home with a muscle relaxant and an anti-inflammatory but a few days later when I started to loose the feeling in my lips and tongue and could lie flat in bed and have both arms and both legs go numb, he referred me to a neurologist.
I've since had an MRI and a follow up visit with the neurologist. They found four "spots" in my brain which the neurologist showed me on my MRI images. I expected to see a couple of gerbils on a treadmill and was surprised to see how seemingly vacuous the images of the human brain are. To my untrained eye it all looked like a bunch of empty space but apparently the radiologist (or however reads these films) and the neurologist could see something afoot up there.
The neurologist ordered a slew of blood tests - 20 vials worth - and another MRI. It'll take a couple of weeks for the blood work and I might not get in for the MRI until March. He doesn't want to venture a diagnosis until he gets more info but my GP called me in to go over the MRI results and explained that the tests the neurologist has ordered is called the "MS protocol" - sounds like a Ludlum novel title eh?
I'm not sure if I should be scared. I mean it's not every day that a doctor tells you that he found "signs of inflammation in your brain". Does that mean there's something wrong or simply that I have a swelled head? With my mom having Alzheimer's I can say that I do have a bit of anxiety around what these "spots" might mean.
All I can do right now is wait. Wait for the blood test results, wait for the date for the MRI, wait for a follow-up visit with the neurologist and try not to freak out while I wait. Meanwhile, if you ask me if the numbness and tingling are any better, I know I can look you right in the eye and tell you that it's all in my head.
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9 Comments:
I'm sure you've been reading up on this. When Mom was diagnosed she was told there were two different forms of MS, each having a bit different treatment protocol. "Avonex" was the drug of choice for those it worked for at that point; for Mom it didn't really help, and was very expensive even though the neurologist got her into a trial program.
No matter which kind this is if it turns out that's what it is, it doesn't mean the end of anything; the only limits in life are what we place on ourselves!
alan
On top of everything else...oh Barb.
Well, as Alan said, there really are no limits. I had an aunt who was diagnosed with MS at the age of 35 and lived independently for thirty years and in her own home all her life (she lived to be 76).
Hugs, Barb, and let me know what happens!
Oh, honey!
Good luck, good luck, good luck, good luck!!!!
Yes, don't freak out. It's easy to worry about things that will never come about.
I try to keep it a "day at a time". I'm ok today.
I will be waiting with you.
only my best thoughts.
I was definitively diagnosed in 1990, in much the same manner as you, with many of the same symptoms.
An MRI revealed a spot on my brain and one on the cervical spinal column.
At that same time, my Army reserve unit was being called up for Desert Storm.
Without the benefit of a medical screening first, I was made to undergo the gauntlet of immunizations that the military always seems so fond of.
One immunization was a gamma globulin shot. Gamma globulin is like a turbo charge for the immune system. Now, what's bizarre is that MS is sort of the immune system attacking itself or, more accurately, the myelin coating of the nerves.
Three weeks later, I was symptom free, and have remained so ever since.
There's no empirical proof that the gamma globulin halted the MS but it's what makes the most sense. My neurologist has pledged that, if my symptoms return, I'll get another Gamma Globulin shot.
I have had two follow-up MRIs since November of 1990, both revealing that the disease has not progressed at all.
Ask your doctor for a gamma globulin shot. S/he may argue, may not feel its medically indicated, may give every reason in the world to NOT give you one, but the reality is that it will not be detrimental in any way (and s/he should know that). The worse that's going to happen is that you won't be sick for a while, and may be able to fight off seasonal or other types of infections better for a while. The best that's going to happen is that you will end up like me, in remission for 17 years now.
Failing that, MS can be manageable as well, provided you understand the dynamics of the disease. Extreme temperatures (hot or cold) aggravate it. Fatigue and stress aggravate it.
I live in Rochester, NY where there apparently is the highest instance, per capita, of MS in the nation. I moved here after my symptoms manifested themselves, however.
Diet, exercise, and avoidance of alcohol, excessive caffeine, and tobacco will also help slow the disease.
I wish you much, much, much luck and you will be in my thoughts.
If you have questions, or want to talk, you can contact me through my own blog at http://milindoe.wordpress.com
Best to you.
I'm just going to keep it simple - I hope that whatever it is isn't serious, isn't permanent, and isn't Alzheimer's.
Crossing ovaries for you.
Thank you all for your kind comments. I'm holding up pretty well though I do get more tired as the day progresses - night time is worst. I'm a pretty stubborn old gal so I don't give in easily. Whatever this is I'll deal with it.
One day at a time and I'll be thinking of you.
One of our nieces called today saying her Dr. was going to put her thru the MS protocol. My heart sank for her, as it did for you.
I have to take courage in Pat's remarks, as well as something that my own physician told me when I asked her if I could possibly have MS. She told me not to freak. (ok, I'm paraphrasing) That MS is much more common than we know,(mostly going undiagnosed) that it is treatable, and like Pat, spontaneous remissions do occur.
In my case, I dodged the bullet for now. For you, I have nothing but the kindest, gentlest thoughts.
Peg
contact me anytime: askthelesbian@gmail.com
Is the baby walking yet?
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