Tuesday, December 27, 2005

 

Noblewomen in Exile

I had an interesting email conversation today with one of my friends about being of mixed parentage. She asked if I had ever experienced problems being accepted by other blacks. Of course that reminded me of one of my poems that was published back in the early 90s in an anthology of work by mixed race women. The anthology was titled “Miscegenation Blues”, edited by Carol Camper and published by Sister Vision Press.

Anyway, the poem came out of an experience I had when I was asked to leave a women of colour caucus because they felt because I was mixed, I wasn't really black. I told them I had every right to stay because when they start shooting niggers they aren't gonna say, “Don't shoot that one 'cause she ain't dark enough.” After that, they let me stay. Which in it's own way is kind of sad.

When you live your life as what I call, a raisin in the bread pudding (a person of colour in a white world), you learn to accept that there are going to be some white people who are not exactly thrilled that you are in their company. When that happens, when you face the racism, because you accept the possibility it will happen, and sometimes even expect it to happen, you can cushion yourself against the hurt.

However, when you experience a rejection from those you feel are your own – those who have shared the experience of racism and those you look towards for sanctuary – it cuts to the bone.

Noblewomen in Exile

i hover on the perimeter of a loosely formed circle
a spectator of tears
an audience to hollowed anguished voices
voices that echo
reverberating in my hollow places within

in silent reflection i observe
women's faces
pain etched in darkened brows
tugs the corners of eyes
welled with tears
flashing with fright

i gaze at my coppery arms
at the pale band on my wrist
that has not been kissed by the warmth of the sun
and am reminded that i will never enjoy
the free exercise of white privilege

so i scrub
scrub until the blood mingles with tears
but i can not erase
the stain on my skin
on my soul

with a sneer they exclaim
i'm what you get
when you put
cream
in the coffee
a humiliating reminder
of the master's midnight visits

high yeller
a prize to the men
a threat to the women

what you frett'n for girl?
you got good hair
you can pass
you don't even sound like us

the circle tightens
in hushed voices
we expose our scars
share our wounds
wounds inflicted by those
we had hoped to trust
hoped would embrace us as their own

before us is set a great banquet
a bountiful harvest of our labours
eyes lowered in fear we come to the table
but the food we are permitted to partake of
sours in our swollen bellies

what is there that is truly mine?
will i wander
forever searching for that place i belong?
as i watch them parade
the artifacts
of a birthright
i feel unworthy to claim

who are we?
the ones who dance between worlds
tossed in the windstream
that slips between the clouds
noblewomen in exile

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Sunday, December 25, 2005

 

Happy Birthday Matt!

This is my son Matt and he is 22 years old today!

Matt has a wonderful imagination and from the time he was very little, he would invent things. After he made a flame thrower out of his super soaker water cannon, I thought he might grow up to be a mad scientist (by the way, I still twitch funny as a result of this incident).

With his career as a designer of weapons of mass destruction thwarted, his talents were channelled to his art. Matt has a talent with a pencil and sketchbook and writes wonderful tales of fantasy. He could be another George Lucas. My wish for him is that he doesn't give up on his dreams and that he finds the time to continue to imagine and create.


Matt found himself a nice girl he plans to marry this spring. Sue has moxie. She's smart, has a great sense of humour and is a good mom to her six year old daughter. I like her. I think she is good for Matt.








Look at them together. They are young, happy and in love. My son is happy. What more can a mom ask for?

Happy birthday son! Love, Mom.

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Saturday, December 24, 2005

 

Help us solve this mystery

These hats arrived in the post the day before yesterday. We have no idea who sent them to us. They were mailed from a place called Hooplah Interactive Inc. in Toronto so we thought it might have been a gift from Phil and Luis in Grimbsy. Then again, they could have been sent from our friends Donna and Julie.

I think whoever sent the hats did so because they know how much we like to soak in our hot tub but won't go tubbing in the rain. Perhaps they thought these hats would allow us to enjoy the tub in any weather. Just look at the expression on my face. Can't you see how touched I am to have such thoughtful friends?

Please help us solve this mystery. It's ok if it's you who sent this gift to us - we still love ya.

Friday, December 23, 2005

 

Jane Hathaway

My fear of birds began on a roof top in Brooklyn, New York. My mom had taken us to visit one of her friends and being bored, the kids decided to go exploring through the apartment building. We ended up on the roof not knowing that the steel door had slammed and locked behind us.

It was a hot day so being on the roof allowed us to catch a cooling breeze and we relished the naughty feeling of knowing we were someplace we shouldn't be. Further along the roof we found a large pigeon coop filled with birds. I don't know who did it (it wasn't me), but someone got the bright idea to open the doors to the coop. The birds flew out and I was surrounded by hundreds of flapping wings swirling around my head. I freaked. So did the other kids. We ran to the door only to find it was locked and we were trapped. Of course this heightened our panic which, it seemed, caused the birds to swarm around us even more.

Eventually someone in another building heard us screaming, crying and pounding on the steel door and we were rescued. In that hyperventilating pant that you only experience after surviving a near-death experience, we fell gratefully into our parents' arms and sobbed with relief.

Years later I remember watching Hitchcock's The Birds on television. It terrified me and made me re-live my roof top ordeal. I'm surprised I didn't need therapy.

I eventually overcame my fear of birds in my early 20s when I bought a young parakeet as a pet. That little critter followed me everywhere throughout the house; landing on my shoulder or head whenever I stopped. Being a young married woman, living in the suburbs and pregnant with my first child, I was very lonely so that little bird became my closest friend. I was devestated when I found it dead in its cage.

I never gave much thought to birds in the ensuing years until I moved out here to my lakeside lair. In the spring I began to see birds I had never noticed before so I bought a cheap pair of binoculars and a field guide. While sipping wine on my front patio I invented a game called Beach Bird Bingo. Rules are: See a bird. Identify bird in field guide. Take another sip of wine. After awhile, you see twice as many birds!

So how does all this tie in with Jane Hathaway? If you remember the old sit-com, The Beverly Hillbillies you will remember the character Jane Hathaway, loyal, love lorn secretary to skin flint bank manager Mr. Drysdale. One of the episodes I most remember is the one where Jane was all dressed up in her safari wear on her way to go bird watching. Nancy Kulp, the actor who portrayed Jane, really played this up and I remember laughing at how geeky she looked in that get-up.

Well Jane/Nancy may just get the last laugh. Since I have taken up bird watching I have binoculars I wear on a harness, a safari vest to hold pad, paper, bug spray, sunscreen, canteen and field guides and a floppy yellow hat. I look way too geeky for a coloured gal!

This foray into birdwatching is entirely the fault of our friend Glenda. She's been birdwatching since she was a child – obviously she never suffered the trauma I experienced as a child. As we started seeing more and more interesting birds, we'd give Glenda a call to ask about them. Then we made the big mistake of inviting her to visit us so that we could go look for birds at Point Pelee National Park. Frustrated with the dinky little binoculars we had, we wound up buying real nice binoculars at the Pelee Wings Nature Store just outside of the park – clever location that. By the end of the day Glenda had us hooked so it's all her fault I dress up like Jane Hathaway.

This fall my partner and I made several visits to Holiday Beach Migration Observatory to observe the annual hawk migration and count. At their annual Fesitval of Hawks we even adopted a female sharp-shinned hawk. Her band number is 1333-24793 so if you come across her, let us know.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

 

Swing yer pardner...

Well the Supreme Court of Canada today declared that swing clubs were legal. My, my Canada sure is getting progressive.

The decision hinges on the interpretation of indecency. In the past community standards were used as the benchmark for determining what was and what wasn't indecent. Today the court rule was based on the concept of harm - "Criminal indecency or obscenity must rest on actual harm or a significant risk of harm to individuals or society". (see news item here)

I don't know about you but I really don't need, or want to know what other consenting adults choose to do sexually. I really don't care as it has no impact on my day-to-day life.

What is disconcerting is that some would say that decisions like this should be debated in Parliament and not be left to the Supreme Court. Oh please. I think this country has more important things for our politicians to debate than whether or not grown people should be allowed to have sex in whatever way floats their boat.

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Latin Music

Driving into the city this morning I was listening to Latin music on my car stereo. I defy anyone to listen to this music and remain still. This music makes me want to snap my fingers, tap my toes and get up and dance. I've always thought that Latin music is the perfect music for those with attention deficit as there is so much to listen to - so much that is happening all at once. Maybe that's why it makes me so happy?

You can let you ear focus into the ostinato of the piano, then the melody or sometimes punctuation of the horns, the augmentation of clarinets or accordians, and of course the percussion section is an aural feast all on its own. Somehow all this comes together in a rhythm that makes your body want to dance from the inside out.

In this way Latin music is like life. There is a rhythm to life carried on the ostinato of each person's heartbeat. The melody of life sometimes carried triumphantly on blaring trumpets or playfully in an accordian's note and at times mournfully in a clarinet's sigh. All of this intertwined with the sounds of accompanying instruments which reflect the richness and complexity of life.

I double dog dare ya to sit still!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

 

The Retarded Cousin

I read a news report yesterday that an American pundit described Canada as its "retarded cousin". (see article here).

Well, ok, so the Prime Minister shouldn't have criticised the US on its commitment to reduce greenhouse gases (especially when Canada hasn't done very well on that score) but Canada does have a legitimate bone to pick with the US around the softwood lumber issue.

Just because Canada wants the US to honour its agreement and return to Canada the $5 billion it took in illegal terrifs doesn't make Canada a retard.

Comments like the ones Carlson et. al. have made (see here) only serve to illustrate the solipsism and ignorance of non-Americans so rife in the USA.

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December 20, 1980

I married a man 25 years ago today. We were both just 21 years old and thought we knew what we were doing. Four years and two babies later, I left with just $14 to my name.

I sometimes wonder what sort of woman I would have become had I stayed with that man. He didn't want me to go to college because he didn't want his children raised by strangers in a daycare. He said he married me because he thought that coloured gals knew how to work hard. Was he fixin' to put me out to farm?

With my second pregnancy I was carrying twins. A push down a flight of stairs meant I only carried one to term. Eight months later and a day after gallbladder surgery I get a visit from a policeman and a social worker. They are investigating a report that the day of my surgery my husband allegedly sexually molested my 2 and a half year old daughter. They wanted to know if I thought he was capable of that kind of behaviour. I collapsed and had to be sedated.

The day after that visit I pulled the drainage tube out of my side (nearly passed out doing so) and checked myself out of the hospital. I took my babies and left town with a couple who were resettling in another city.

I look back at those days and the time I was married and all the things I went through and it seems like it had happened to someone else. I don't know if I would be that strong today.

Monday, December 19, 2005

 

The Right to Marry


These are my friends Hedy and Colleen and their handsome son Andrew. If is wasn't for these women and six other couples (see court ruling here), stories like the one I wrote in 1993 would continue today. Thanks to them, a story like Sarah and Alex's, in Canada today, can remain fiction. Let's hope that one day our cousins to the south can one day (perhaps in our lifetime) enjoy the same right.






Furthermore, thanks to the efforts and commitment of Hedy and Colleen and the other couples, I was able to legally marry the love of my life and have a chance, just like anyone else, to live happily ever after!

So thanks gals!

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Old writings

I'm cleaning out my office and came across this little story I wrote in 1993.

The sun streamed through the waves in the large leaded glass window, warming the sill and spilling its light into the room. Arthur arched his back, extended his paws, and then leaped down from his perch. He padded over to the bed, jumped up and began to purr as he sank into the duvet. Sarah stirred and rolled to her side. Reaching her shoulder, Arthur began to do his happy feet dance, kneading the bedclothes with his paws, and running his rough tongue across her ear. Sarah yawned and turned her head. Arthur pursued, rounding the top of the pillow to seek out the other ear. She opened her eyes and reached over to stroke behind Arthur's ears. He pressed his head into her hand and he purred even louder. “Good morning to you too!” she cooed. Pushing back the bedclothes, she stood up. Arthur jumped off the bed and started to weave himself between her legs.

She walked to the kitchen, opened the cupboard and grabbed the box of cat food. Arthur ran to his dish ahead of her, and began to circle. She shook the food into the dish and turned to put the kettle on. Absently, she reached over to the mug tree and noticed that her favourite mug was missing. Oh yes, she had left in the studio.

She walked down the hall and entered the studio. The room was small but had good natural light, which was perfect for her painting. Shelves lined the walls filled with sketchbooks, charcoals, and neat little ceramic jars of brushes. There, on the small table by the window was her mug. Picking it up, she peered inside and saw the dregs of the few mouthfuls of tea leftover from the night before. She never did finish a full cup. Alex used to tease her about that all the time. Sarah turned to leave the room and glanced up.

Propped up on the shelf on the far wall, was a sketch she once did of Alex. It had been done as an assignment for art class and she remembered the day Alex posed for it, for that was the day that they had become lovers.

She walked over to the shelf, took down a scrapbook and sat in the armchair by the door. Her hand wiped the dust from the cover and the particles filtered through the air to dance on the beams of light that filled the little room. Her memories disturbed, her eyes misted it over and she reverently turned the pages that held all that remained of their seven years together.

A faded withered petal glided to the floor, now a brittle keepsake of a bouquet of wild pansies Alex had left for her before leaving on a business trip. Sarah chuckled and she read the accompanying card, “My darling Dimples, I shall return.” The first time I was called Dimples, she recalled, Alex was under heavy sedation. Alex had been reading an article about General MacArthur just before the drugs took effect. The story is told that Alex entertained the hospital porter, the occupants of the elevator and the employees of the radiology department with lurid tales of MacArthur's Filipino mistress, affectionately known as Dimples. Alex came to in the recovery area smiling and while looking up into Sarah's concerned face blurted, “Hi there Dimples!” and the name stuck.

She sighed, turned the page and smiled at the photo of Alex holding a soaked little stray that they had found on a morning jog by the river. Sarah couldn't refuse taking in the poor little thing especially when she saw how Alex was so moved by his story state. They named him Arthur. Arthur was almost a year old when Alex was killed.

They had been out all that Saturday afternoon. Alex playing touch football with friends and Sarah cheering lustily from the sidelines. They arrived home chilled and starving so Sarah busied herself preparing supper while Alex laid a fire in the woodstove. Fishing around in the fridge, Sarah realized she was out of cheese. She asked Alex to walk over to the corner market to pick some up along with a few last-minute things for supper. Grabbing a jacket, Alex came into the kitchen for the list, snatched a stick of celery, and kissed Sarah goodbye.

Twilight arrived with its lengthening shadows and the fall evening was even colder now; a warmer jacket would've been nice. Alex decided to jog to keep warm. Rounding the corner, the little market came into sight. Alex could see Mr. Hussein sweeping away the leaves from the front of the canopied shop. Alex called out a greeting; Mr. Hussein smiled and waved as Alex began to cross the street. Instantly, that smile became a grimace of horror as a small red car screeched its way around the corner taking out the front quarter panel of a larger parked car, ricocheting like a banked slap shot and slamming into Alex. The startled driver, a boy of 15, careened past Alex's broken body and sped down street leaving a slew of knocked over trash cans in his wake. Alex was pronounced dead on arrival, the innocent victim of the night of joy riding.

Almost an hour had gone by and Sarah became annoyed that Alex hadn't returned. Alex probably got talking to Mr. Hussein at the market and didn't notice how late it was getting. She called the market. There was no answer. Thinking she had misdialed, she rang there again - still no answer. It was only seven o'clock and the market usually stayed open until eleven. Something was wrong. She began to tremble with fear. She looked around the kitchen at the supper that wouldn't be eaten and then ran to the front closet for her coat. Pulling it around her shoulders, she let the front door slam behind her, jumped off the porch steps and ran down street.

On the corner a police car's piercing, staccato lights illuminated the darkening sky, silhouetting the gathering crowd. Slowly, she walked to the last few yards, sour juices churning in her stomach. Slumped by the wall outside the market, was Mr. Hussein. He was talking to a policewoman who was jotting down what he said in a notebook. Another policeman was holding the crowd at bay, but she pushed her way past him and called out to Mr. Hussein. He looked up and seeing Sarah, he began to cry. She screamed and felt arms about her as her knees started to buckle. Through the fog that swirled in her head, she heard the policewoman tell her that Alex had been injured by a hit-and-run driver and was already at the hospital. She asked if Sarah wanted someone to take her home, but she declined asking instead to be taken to the hospital.

During the ride to the hospital, Sarah gazed out the window of the car at familiar sights that now seemed somehow different. The buildings seemed to float by as if in slow motion. The policeman left her in the emergency department explaining that he had to return to his duties. She thanked him and made her way to the nurse's station to inquire about Alex. Behind the desk sat the ward clerk who would give her no information about Alex, but told her to have a seat and someone would be by to see her shortly. Two hours past while she paced the floor, checking back with the harried clerk every few minutes. Finally, in exasperation, she got angry and demanded to speak to someone immediately.

The ward clerk scuttled away to return with a young resident. He took Sarah to an alcove off the main corridor and asked who she was and what was her connection to Alex. She told him that they have been living together for the past seven years. He then explained to her that Alex had died in the ambulance; they did all they could but there was massive blood loss and tissue damage; that Alex had been unconscious and probably didn't suffer; and that they had notified the next of kin. Next of kin?

Alex's family had not been a part of Alex's life for at least 10 years. Apart from greetings at holiday times, as far Sarah knew, Alex had not maintained any family contacts. Sarah was the closest next of kin there was. The young doctor told her a faded address card had been found in Alex's wallet and so, the hospital had notified the Colemans. As soon as the coroner had signed the release, the body would be moved in the morning. "Where"", she asked. He couldn't say, but perhaps, if Sarah were to call Alex's parents… She thanked him and asked where she could call a taxi to take her home.

Her steps resonated with a hollow thud and she plotted up the porch steps, a hollowness that echoed within her heart. She walked through the front door, placed her keys on the hook above the umbrella stand, took off her coat, hung it carefully in the closet and turned to the phone.

Searching through the phone book, she found the Coleman's number and dialled. Mrs. Coleman answered. “Mrs. Coleman?” she hesitated, “it's Sarah Wilson.” “Oh my God, it's that girl!” she could hear Mrs. Coleman say under her breath. “Give me the phone Hazel” it was Mr. Coleman. “Leave us alone”, his voice cracked, “don't you think you've done enough?” He hung up. She stared at the receiver, let it fall from her hand, started to the kitchen, and put the kettle on.

The whistle of the kettle startled her and she lifted her head from the photo in the scrapbook. Blinking back tears, she stood, and carried the book back to the kitchen. Arthur had finished his breakfast and was now sunning himself on the sill over the sink. She took a bagel from the breadbox to have with her tea, sat down at the kitchen table and continued to thumb through the scrapbook.

Two years had passed since Alex's death, and it had been quite sometime since she had last leaved through its pages. The book was all that was left to her after the Coleman's attorney had obtained a court order allowing them to enter and remove all of Alex's personal effects from their home. They had contested Alex's will and had won the right to the estate. They stripped her of everything that once belonged to Alex. It was all Sarah could do to prove that the house was hers outright and not part of the estate. It seemed that in their pain and grief, the Colemans wanted to punish Sarah for the loss of their daughter.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

 

Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving

Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving. - Erma Bombeck

I cried when I heard that Erma died. I cried because I felt I had lost a kindred spirit - another soul who shared my finely honed appreciation for the absurd.

I have yet to meet a mother who, at one time or another, has not felt guilty. I think this is especially so for single moms because we have no one else to blame but ourselves.

There are times I find myself feeling guilty because there is so much more I wanted for my kids. I wanted them to go to college. I find myself chastising myself for not spending more time with them. Perhaps if I had done so, they would have gone to college.

I see them now struggling to make their way in life with low-wage jobs and feel somehow I have failed them. Failed to impart the importance of higher education. While growing up in the Bronx projects I constantly heard, "Educate to elevate". I knew that I would be imprisoned in dead-end jobs unless I found a way to educate myself. How could I have failed to instill the same knowledge and imperative in my own children?

Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving.

Friday, December 16, 2005

 

Penn's comments

I posted Penn Jillette's comments here because they resonated with me.

As a child of a Roman Catholic mother and Southern Baptist father who grew up to become a Salvationist, my relationship with "the lord" was no casual summer fling. I really wanted to believe.

In cathechism class I was always the kid with my hand up - I always had questions. I really wanted to believe. I wanted to understand. I was not satisfied with the priest's response that I simply had to have faith. When he tried to explain the nature of transubstatiation I wanted to know why, at that crucial moment of the mass, the bread and wine still looked like bread and wine and not flesh and blood. Was it a magic trick that went wrong?

I wanted to know what was the difference between the "heathen cannibals" of the jungle and us - holy Catholics who ate the flesh and drank the blood of christ. I wanted to know what "limbo" was as I thought it was a dance I saw some people doing last week on the Ed Sullivan Show.

Seems I always spent the last half of cathechism class on my knees in the hallway reciting the Act of Contrition. Looking back, I think that by the time I was eight, I was very close to excommunication.

As a child I really wanted to believe because I wanted to understand god and understand why the world was the way it was. When I was grown, I wanted to believe because it was easier to believe, or at least say you believe, than it was to voice my doubts. Kind of like it was easier to play straight than it was to come out.

Coming from a very religious family, blurting out at the dinner table that you don't believe in god is like, well, farting in church. Ok, way worse than farting in church. I suppose the next worse thing you could do is announce that you are gay. That's a go-straight-to-hell-do-not-pass-Go in one single roll of the dice.

I'm always struck by some people's notion that you need religion to form one's morals (moral fibre they call it - better than a dose of oatbran). In this day of the rise of the religious right (wrong), it is nearly dangerous to proclaim one's disbelief for those who do so are villified.

This reminds me of some of the religious tracts my Pentecostal friends would peddle. In these tracts they described how in the end times Christians would be persecuted. You would have to choose between being branded with the "mark of the beast" (back then some speculated that the mark would be the newly invented UPS symbols), or public beheading.

Seems to me today that it is the so-called "christian" right who is weilding the headman's axe. I call them "so-called christians" because I believe that even if they claim to have read the bible "inside and out", they are in desperate need of remedial reading comprehension.

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There is no god

Heard on NPR, Nov.21 05

There is No God
by Penn Jillette

"I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows, and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more."

I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond Atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?

So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The Atheism part is easy.

But, this "This I Believe" thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, "This I believe: I believe there is no God."

Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.

Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories.That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.

Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, "I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith." That's just a long-winded religious way to say, "shut up," or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, "How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do." So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.

Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-o and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.

------------------
Anthony LowePenn Jillette is the taller, louder half of the magic and comedy act Penn and Teller. He is a research fellow at the Cato Institute and has lectured at Oxford and MIT. Penn has co-authored three best-selling books and is executive producer of the documentary film The Aristocrats.

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

 

Sailing


Two years ago at the Boat Show in Mount Clemens, Michigan I met my dreamboat. Of all the sail boats I saw that day only the Rhodes was the one I felt I would be confident handling by myself. The design is well thought out and makes the most efficient use of space but what impressed me most was the boat builder's philosophy - they were the only company represented at the show who will sell you a recycled Rhodes with a new boat guarantee. Really, you have to read everything at their site to appreciate this boat and how this company does business.

I blame my brother-in-law's partner for getting me infected with the sailing bug. After a few sails on his Grampian he said that if I passed the Power Squadron's boating course he'd let me use his boat. (See photo of me at the helm of his boat)

It didn't take me long to enroll in the Boating Course with the Windsor Power & Sail Squadron. The Boating Course is a 14 week course that not only teaches you everything you need to obtain your Pleasure Craft Operators Card but teaches you the essentials of plotting and navigation that will get you back to the marina safely. After successfully completing this course I was invited to help teach this course to the next group of students. So I spent another 14 weeks assisting the Squadron's past Commander teaching the new group of students. Truth be told, I think I learned even more by assistant teaching.

The second course I took through the Windsor Power & Sail Squadron was the VHF course where I earned my Restricted Operator Certificate (R.O.C. Maritime). I later went on to help teach this course as well.


At the end of this season my brother-in-law's partner sold his boat so next season, if I want to sail on anything larger that my dinghy (see photo of the Good Ship Cauliflower), I'll have to find another vessel on which to crew.

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Dr. Floretta Cauliflower


My mom's real proud that I married a doctor...







Dr. Floretta Cauliflower's unofficial Hollywood biography tells us that while growing up on the farm in St Joachim, she discovered that the inner workings of the human body were very similar to the inner workings of a John Deere tractor so she hitched up her tool belt and headed off to the very prestigious College of DoctorMcTology.

As a highly skilled sturgeon, she was quickly snatched up by the Fools for Health Clown doctor program and is currently in full-time practice in hospitals and retirement facilities in Windsor and Essex County.

Dr. Cauliflower brings her tools on all her rounds so she is always ready to perform her special sturgical procedures. With screw driver in hand, she assists patients who may have a screw loose and if they need a tire rotation for their wheelchair, her wrench is in easy reach, hanging from her tool belt. The procedure she is most called on to perform is attitude adjustments. She says that most people don't believe they need attitude adjustments but they always know someone who thinks they need one.

For patients who do not require sturgery, Dr. Cauliflower can prescribe Gasprin. She says everybody needs this from time to time. Mostly, she prescribes Smilenol. She has extra strength Smilenol and Smilenol 3s but she says you have to be careful with those because one of the side effects is a condition known as permagrin and that can hurt after awhile.

For more information about the Clown doctor program visit their site at Fools for Health.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

 

Christine Berry



My first post to this blog is dedicated to my friend Christine Berry - Born Windsor, Ontario May 31, 1964, died August 18, 2005.

grief
the bastard child of hopelessness and despair
straddles my chest
pinning me to the ground
leaving me breathless

Girl, you had a heart and a half. Gave so much to others you didn't keep any for yourself.

You never made it out to my lakeside liar. You'll never know how much I wanted to sit on the beach with you and sip a little Gibson's. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I miss your laugh. I miss your catfish. I carry you in my heart.